I have been diagnosed with this and it is unclear to me and I presume to medical doctors as well. It seems to be a catch all for “I really do not know”. It is at present in my left arm and causes my fingers to tingle like they were asleep. It is very disconcerting and distracting. At times it is a painful ache down my arm and even feels like shooting jolts of electric into my hand. It seems to be getting worse in the past few months though I am taking Neurontin to help> That plus Motrin but it still remains -I cannot imagine what I would feel if I were not taking something. I tell you this only because my typing is not going well I sometimes cannot tell if I hit the keys or not. If this is part of getting older I do not like it! If not I still do not like it! I can only hope someone will find a med to relieve the problems it is causing me. There are many others who are probably worse off and I wish they also could get relief. I have a fairly high pain threshold for example I broke my wrist in the same arm and for 6 weeks I kept telling myself that it was just a sprain when I went to orthopedic MD he said “you are pretty tough” What he did not say was tough old bird but being clairvoyant I knew his unspoken words.
My best friend as a preschooler
•July 3, 2012 • Leave a CommentFor as Long as I can remember my Poppy Lovelace was my best buddy. He was a kid in grampa clothes and often played tricks on others and snickered about their reactions. I remember him calling at 430-5 am mornings when he was having breakfast prior to taking the train to Brooklyn Navy shipyards. He would whisper “Jute, Jute come on have a sugar bun and cocoa”I would pop up and join him and when he was almost ready to leave I would return to my bed for another nap. When he was home I would follow him and “help” him and ride on a moving dollie going from one work area to another on our property. He would spoil me and bring me toys and candy among other things from NYC and We would go to the train after the regular supper hour to get him from the train. He would eat alone and I would sit and keep him company. We were great buddies and though he was not a physically demonstrative person I knew he loved me and I know I loved him. He loved the ocean and I did too.
When I came home from the hospital with my first born Carol he cried when seeing her. It was the first and only time I ever saw him show emotion like that
When he had his last stroke, we kept him home and tended to him. He would call out in a semi lucid state and the last I heard of him was when he called “Jute, Jute” I did not go to him right away but when I did I found him in a coma and three days later he passed at home without ever being able to say goodbye. That is something I will always regret and never forget.
I love you Poppy and miss you.
My art work looks like…I think it is a cross between Dr. Seuss and Van Gogh.
•July 3, 2012 • Leave a Comment
Don’t get me wrong I am loving it- it is the best thing for me especially right now. I have changed my ho hum routine to a more disciplined one and I am sleeping better and feel more sure of myself too. As I said previously I have gotten a new sense of empowerment and it feels like I grew muscles overnight. While it is exciting to see someone come around it is scary too. I do not want it to go to my head. (I am sure that will not be a problem). It is the longest I have had feeling good and today I even said “Life is good” a sort of prayer said while driving. Some of the cartoons on Facebook have hit home to what I am saying. One in particular stands out “your body can do anything (be anything) it is just your mind that needs convincing”!
I am also convinced that aromatherapy play into good mental hygiene. Certain smells produce a sense of wellbeing; for me the combination of vanilla oil and almond oil (from a oil shop like the one on 106th street in NYC) have a wonderful calming effect. Other odors trigger memories like the smell of bananas, cigar or pipe smoke, salt water/ ocean odors all remind me of the annual vacation lasting 10 days at Ocean Grove NJ south of Asbury Park. It was my grandfather’s ritual to buy fruit from the market when we got there and by the end of 10 days it was either gone or needed to be -it was plenty ripe. Sounds too evoke memories like crashing waves, gulls screeching overhead, merry-go-round music; tastes like hot dogs and orange juice, ice cream made at the board walk, soda from an automat like shop or taffy . Mostly these are from the same vacation spot but it was the greatest vacation ever. Eating out for all meals, riding amusement rides, shopping for whatever when it rained rather than sitting at the beach, Oh I cannot wait for the time machine to get done I will be the first in line.
Another vacation included going to the mountains which was ok quiet and since I was at the age of 13-15 I had little interest in fishing or getting up at dawn to do it. The mountains were beautiful but my experiences were different in that I bond
with my maternal grandmother. She and I would stay at the cabin and play cards and listen to a radio which was static and fading stations and mostly consisted of revival programs. It was still a memory that I enjoy reviewing. Boy how I digress; like climbing a tree up the trunk and off out on a limb. I believe it is called tangential.
Life changes following surgery…
•July 3, 2012 • Leave a CommentSince I have had a total hysterectomy I sweat and smell like a farm hand or farm animal. My testerone must be high even Mitchum does not stop the sweating and I am not “flashing” just sweating. There are other manly things too, likeh air growing where I do not want it. My dog cannot figure out what I am doing when plucking chin hairs. She probably thinks I have much better growth than you and it you leave it alone you might too.
on a mission to be a “cute” grandma…
•July 3, 2012 • Leave a CommentI am certain that after asking God to take control of my situation(s)( as I am not able to do on my on account) that He has changed things in my life. This has occurred within a period less than one week. I am no longer intimidated by my ability to paint and it seems am able to decide to start something and work until it has met my personal likes. We all have been given gifts but often let them wither and die from non use. Writing is another that I love and I have a unique sense of humor that is a saving grace in my particular life. It is both a way of venting and a challenge to attract and hold the interest of my audience(s).
In the past five days I have seen the fruits of His love and answers to my prayers. I have felt empowered and more self secure. For the first time in many months,even years I am taking a personal interest in my appearance. Example: I hate having hat hair-you know the look like you just took off the hat and your hair is compressed to your head. I finally bought some “volumizing Mouse'” and though it helped was not enough. Yesterday I went for the big guns, a curling iron-wow I haven’t had one in years. I do not like looking older but by all that is holy I will not look any worse than I have to! Also bought a lipstick another big purchase my other one melted in the hot sun :(.
I am on a mission to be a “cute” grandma.
So much for Ms nice guy…
•July 2, 2012 • Leave a CommentThe question: am I afraid of my housemate? No more likely I am afraid of me if I am pushed past the point of being tolerant. I can be very creative in getting revenge in subtle ways too. As a nurse I have even more capacity and unique thoughts on the subject. I hold very tight to my scorpian tendencies and my words culd be as lethal as a scorpian’s tail. I have seen my ugly side and do not like her she can be vindictive. Something few people have had the misfortune to experience. Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn and I am no exception to that phrase.
As long as I am being honest and treated within some degree in like kind we will have no problem but do not pluck my lst nerve!
“Here I come to save the day…” Mighty Mouse
•July 2, 2012 • Leave a CommentIn thinking about some of my remarks the past few days I realize that I also have mighty mouse qualities as well. I am on a mission to make everyone happy or at least content in this life. My ex (who got more than ten peoples share) said you are not super woman-well I certainly do not have brass boobs but he had the ba_ls of a brass monkey. I am sure their are more cartoon characters to come-all of this talent wasted when I could do stand up for nothing too.
Ownership of a manhole?
•July 2, 2012 • 1 CommentLast year Irene dumped up to 7 inches of rain then followed my the next one we were swimming. The house sits well below street level and not only does the rain run down hill but the sewer lines are higher at the street level. At the lowest point is a manhole which forced water to gush water and sewage up and onto the lawn. It also pushed water back thru the toilet on the same ground level and caused flooding into the first floor -end result “Black Mold”. After many hours of calling and contacting people the town declared “there is no record of the town ownig this manhole and therefore it is the owner’s problem.” This conveniently dumped the cost back into my friend and landlord’s lap. The obvious to me is that it is a sewer and manhole and has to belong to the Town! I do not recall seeing ads for manholes and or sewer lines installed at Lowe’s or Home Depot. What further complicates the problem is there are easements allowing houses up the street ( again higher level) to cross the property lines and use this same low point connection to this same manhole. It was said also that it would probably need to be settled in court. My friend lives in Tx and wants to sell at a drastic reduction- just get rid of it. Last year I spent over one month of calls and estimates for mold remediation etc only to give up in frustration (I am only the tenant and if the landlord is not willing to pursue this issue no one listened to me).
Once again rereading my litany of notes I am inflamed and feel it is an issue worth fighting for if she can have the necessary info maybe she IS eligible for Town to take the ball and pay previous expenses.
She says if I can get money for this it is mine but it is not the money but rather the principle that galls me. I have been known as a fighter of sorts for my patients and patient advocate. This is the same thing though she is not my patient she still deserves someone to fight for her- she is my best friend.
“I am what I am, and that’s what I am”,popeye…
•July 2, 2012 • 1 CommentThe way I am is what makes me good at my nursing abilities- I know what others need before they do and am ready willing and able to give my all. The problem is I do not know what I need and would probably have been a better nun except for one thing- the vow of silence. I cannot keep quiet even in the house alone that is why my dog knows so much and has such a big vocabulary. In the Thrift shop I am just a chatter box chatting at anyone who will listen. At the age of seven I went to Asbury NJ on the train with my father. He said I would tell everyone everything about why we had to take the train, how I had chickenpox and more. I apparently embarrassed him. I could never be a spy because one glass of wine or two and I have spilled my proverbial “guts” about anything you might want to know.
Taking care of me, not an easy task …
•July 1, 2012 • 2 CommentsThis is a copy of a note sent to my housemate who has taken advantage of a good thing and abuse the privileges which I put in place- now for survival sake I must stand and defend my dislikes, no easy job for me.
I have obvious difficulty standing up for my rights and confrontations are especially hard but I am writing to let you know this situation is not working for me. I have tried to be helpful to a fault and have allowed myself to be in a situation which has caused me to withdraw from the issue .
I am not pleased with firstly the car situation. I have tried patiently to wait for you to find another means of traveling but see nothing in sight. I would like to have the driveway for parking my car and if your truck will not be going I would appreciate that it be up at the street level. I had plans last night to go to the mall but you did not return as stated. Now iis Sunday and I would like to go to early church but no car.
I have noticed you are unhappy with the situation here. I feel that at times your mood is obviously angry at something (even my dog). I told you in December about the dog and that I am not the greatest in housekeeping so hopefully you have not forgotten this.
I am not sure about what my plans are for the next few months since it would be in my best interest to move and leave this money drain behind. I need to step up to the plate and make decisions and follow thru with them rather than avoiding .
I cannot imagine it is healthy to have mold damaged carpets in the house -though in the garage there is no barrier to prevent air contamination to the rest of the house. This needs to be gotten rid of.
jjldee64 