“Memories… I was beautiful then…”(Cats)

My early childhood was a special time for me as I was the only child, grandchild, niece and totally the center of the universe.  One day however the world came crashing down when suddenly a second and then a third grandchild pushed into the center of my universe.  Though I do not recall specifics it had to have made a lasting dent in my ego.  Knowing what I now know about children and what I have learned as both a mother and nurse have given me insight into such adjustments.

As a school age child I was bright and still wanted to be the star of the show.  My maternal grandmother, Edith enrolled me into ballet at age 5, then into piano lessons shortly thereafter.  As if that was not enough I was sent to brownies and to the organist (who also gave me piano lessons) to sing in the choir at our church.  She secretly informed me that  perhaps singing was not for me (in other words “don’t give up your day job”)!  Of course there were recitals for ballet and toe dancing twice a year infront of an audience which made it at least tolerable.  Piano lessons were different because I became nervous and my hands shook and I made mistakes.  People laughed at my lack of skill hitting notes wrong.  I had acquired a fair amount of “baby fat” and I also was made fun of by my father who pretended to make believe I was a dancing hippo from “Fantasia”.  I hated to be made fun of especially by a parent and of course when singing “one day my prince will come” my uncle burst out laughing.  So it was then that I learned that if I did something deliberately funny , even if poking fun at myself I gave others permission to laugh.  Now at times I think it would be cool to be a stand up comic.

~ by judylove64 on November 30, 2012.

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