The ongoing saga of the rebirth of a friendship continues
. Well we have started to open the past events of our similarly anguished youth and middle years. In childhood we both had severely dysfunctional households; in the adult years again we both had two marriages that failed leaving us wounded and deeply troubled for ever having trust in others. I am realizing that these two events have left us scarred and lonely. Unconditional love is a rare thing. Love of parents is often tarnished by parental actions i.e. choosing a favorite and/or assigning role to the other children. This forces members to always take sides and results in conveying anger for siblings who received special treatment of one parent or the other. Frankly I feel that the early years predisposes the adult (inner child) to make choices which are not healthy as they try to relive and repair the trauma felt early on.
I am disappointed by friends who (mean well) by admonishments and negative prophesies of future pain and suffering. They see this reuniting of friends from the past especially over the time frame of my childhood (5-7) to my present (68) years as impossible. Every one of them are prophets doom who knowing of my own tendency to give often too much only in the end to be a victim of my own hand. But they are not privileged see my friend is the male version of me as he too has been a victim of his own choices. I feel we are kindred souls who are alike in so many ways i.e. things we like and do not like. We are different in that I tend to have the “Pollyanna” attitude and believe in happy ever after and he in the other end of the spectrum and has an attitude that things will not change. I also feel that we can change and through interactions learn to adjust and grow through seeing life (some degree) through the others eyes.
To those who are attempting to plant seeds of doubt upon the vulnerable soil of my past I recoil and withdraw. I will give them the fact that this is spontaneous but I will not concede that that fact alone means disaster. What is does do is keep me less willing to share my further feelings and that is a sad place for me to be.
jjldee64 