jjldee64

She was living independently until 7 months before she passed. I blame my brother for “pushing the envelope”. He decided to come and stay with her (his plan was to live in her senior apt. without paying rent and saving) He was going to take care of her -I guess he did just that too! It started when he flew in she waited up for hours and did not sleep for days after that. He invaded her living room and she moved into her bedroom without her normal routine. He went out with friends and came home when it suited him alleging he was cooking for her. 9-930 pm is not a normal suppertime for most people. It was certainly not for her. She called me to say she was hungry and I went to her apt and brought food. As I was leaving he arrived with a bag of food to yet prepare and a snoot full of alcohol. the next day he called me to say she could not walk and he had to take her to the bathroom – not what he had signed up for! Well in that week I had to call 911 and take her to the hospital. They sent her home even though she could not walk. She was diagnosed with hypertension. From there she had an episode where he was yelling at her- we called the police and he vacated the premises (later we found out that he went to her bank and removed $900 from her account which he was named as second on. We brought her home with us and closed out her apt. When she found out about his withdrawal she was very upset. This was the “prodigal son” who could do no wrong. Eventually she had to go back to the hospital and then to a nursing facility. When that reached 30 days we took her home – the original plan was to get her seen for cataract, dentures and the like so I got her to these doctors to achieve these goals but during this time he and she were back in touch and he was in her good graces again. He continued to bad mouth me and she took his work and turned against me. It was a rough period. She decided she needed to go to the hospital again and wanted me tocall 911. I told her that she would wind up back in a nursing home. She did. I refused to go to the hospital since this was an urging from her son.

The night before she died I laid on the bed next to her and she asked me to “help me open the door” I told her, “I could not that was something she only could do”

My mother’s care was something I undertook at the age of 3 years old -which I remember clearly -I kicked my father in the shins because she was crying and I thought he made her cry-I told him, “Leave my mother alone and stop making her cry”!

I miss my mom and have her ashes in the house (in my room) and am not completely sure she is gone especially when the dog goes a little crazy or when suddenly something happens like the latter falling without anyone near it or a crash which has no explanation.

Here’s to you mommy I love you and miss you and please do not try to scare me anymore.

~ by judylove64 on July 6, 2012.

Posted in Uncategorized
Tags: dying, mommy, prodigal son